one day like this

It all began at book club at my friend's house in Cape Town when I was admiring a photo of a guy who ticked all the TDH criteria: tall, dark and handsome! "Who is THAT?" I asked my mate Julia. "That's my brother!" she replied, and the game was on. He lived in Jo'burg and I was in Cape Town, but a "surprise" set up at a mutual friend's birthday led to one-and-a-half-years on the roller coaster of long distance love. We decided to move to London together to explore the world and after four years of highs and lows in the Big Smoke, from smelly digs' and freezing winters to exotic holidays to Thailand and Mexico, Tim popped the question at a restaurant overlooking a valley of olive groves in Corsica.

Estuary chic
We decided right away that we wanted to have the wedding at his family's cottage in the Eastern Cape. Chalumna is a private estate set on a tidal river that three generations of Tim's family have spent many happy holidays. It's a very special place for all of us, and was the most beautiful backdrop we could have wanted for our wedding. We were able to accommodate most of our guests in cottages on the river and the rest five minutes away at Kidd's Beach. The other added bonus was that we didn't have to pay for a venue and could bring in all our own food and booze. We could also get it all exactly as we wanted it: rustic, but stylish with special touches - "estuary chic" as my mother called it!

The downside was that we had to bring everything in, from portal loos and heaters to generators for the electricity in case the weather (or Eskom!) let us down. It was hard work planning a wedding in SA from London, but thanks to the wonders of email, skype and super-organised mum-in-laws and aunties, we managed to pull it off, no wedding planner required!

Keeping it in the family!
Tim's sister Alice is a very talented graphic designer and she did everything from the save-the-dates and invites to hymn sheets and name cards. So we really did keep everything in the family!

Our inspiration
We visited lots of food and flea markets and wedding shows. And right at the beginning, we made the dreaded "wedding file" - yes, I know that every girl reading this has one! - and cut out ideas that we loved from bridal, décor and food mags.

We went to the Chelsea Flower Show with Tim's mum, Susan, who is a floral guru and did all our flowers, and took loads of photos of how we wanted our displays. One of the stands there was selling incredible wire sculptures and there was a bride and groom figurine that we loved for the top of the cake, but we nearly fell over when they said it was £750! So Tim went to the local hardware store and made us our own dancing couple for a tenner!

Do me a favour!
I had my heart set on gorgeous vintage tin birds as favours for the ladies, but at £4.50 each on the high street, everyone told me it was not worth it. So I tracked down the supplier and a friend managed to find a vendor in a random car boot sale in North London who could get them for a quarter of the price. At the end of the night, when the girls were fighting for the last few birds, I knew it was worth the effort!

The run-up
The week running up to the wedding was a whirlwind of fishing competitions and braais with family and friends who made a holiday out of the trip. This way, we got to spend time with all the special people in our lives so that on the day we didn't feel guilty about not seeing everyone. We also had armies of willing helpers. One bit of advice that we can give is to plan as much as possible before the wedding and then a few days before surrender control to friends and family who, if briefed properly, are more than capable of delivering your vision of the perfect day.

High tea
After the reception, we held a high tea for the guests on the river, complete with macaroons, mini scones, finger sandwiches and mismatched vintage tea cups and cake stands that we had collected from antique markets and borrowed from our grannies. While the girls indulged in champers with pink crystallized rose petals, the guys had a boat full of beer and biltong so that they didn't feel left out!

Instead of a table plan, we used wooden pegs to hang escort cards with all the guests' names and table numbers on a washing line at the tea. We had our photos on the jetty in front of the house where we had tea, so that we could mingle with all our guests and didn't have to disappear for hours.

Let them eat cake
We wanted a red velvet cake for the tea - a red chocolate base covered in cream cheese icing, which is the most popular cake at my favourite haunt on Portobello Road, the Hummingbird Bakery. However, the cake collapsed on the dirt track down to the tea and ended up looking like a pre-school cooking experiment! Luckily some kindly aunty had managed to patch it up with flowers and at that stage of the day, we were beyond caring!

The tent
After the reception, we hopped on a speedboat and zipped up the river to the reception and got some fabulously cheesy Titanic shots! We could see the tent all lit up and our friends and family all milling around on the bank of the river when we arrived.

We desperately wanted a Bedouin tent, but the wind in that part of the world is powerful and unpredictable, so we settled on a tent with sides that we could lift up for the same effect. We were so lucky that at that time of year, the day of the wedding was dead calm and sunny! So we had the sides of the tent up and up lit all the big trees and foliage around the edges. There was even a tree in the middle of the tent, and instead of cutting it down, we covered it with fairy lights and made it the main feature. A few months before the wedding, Tim "planted" driftwood trees running up to the tent and we lit these from the bottom so that the entrance looked really dramatic.

Tables were covered with light khaki tablecloths, white linen serviettes, silver candelabra and assorted vases of flowers. The focus pieces were gorgeous mosaic purple vases that we got for a snip at good old Mr Price Home! We also got beautiful big silver bowls there that we scattered around the tent and filled with wine and champagne. The chair factory we had ordered our Wimbledon chairs from burnt down, along with our records, so when we called the week before to confirm the order, they were like, "sorry, everything went up in flames!" Crisis was averted though and after scouring the Eastern Cape we managed to secure pretty white chairs.

We sat at the main table with the bridal party and their partners and our folks sat at tables with all their friends and close family members.

The F-word
Tim's portfolio was food and music. As an amateur chef, he tested all sorts of different recipes on me (not great when you're trying to squeeze into a wedding dress!). He wanted a menu that reflected the best local, seasonal produce and set about sourcing all the ingredients. Our starter was a fig, Parma ham and mozzarella salad with rocket and balsamic glaze along with fresh bread and olive oil (the company that supplied us kindly designed our own labels for the bottles in the style of the invite). For mains it was Tarka lamb, rolled and stuffed with various fillings and accompanied by a green salad, potatoes and roast veg. Dessert was crème bruleé.

While we wanted plated food, the casual set-up didn't lend itself to it, so we went for a market-style buffet decorated with baskets and crates of fresh bread and veg. Tim got it in the neck during the speeches for paying so much attention to his display food!

At midnight, we rolled out glazed gammon with homemade mustard and fresh white rolls, along with a cheese board and the red velvet wedding cake - it was total overkill though, as everyone was so full from the dinner, but proved a hit with hung over guests the next morning.

The waiters and waitresses were people from the local village who we trained on the basics of food service. They were fantastic, dressed in black and white with smart khaki aprons, they ensured that the tables were never cluttered and that everyone had enough to drink!

Music
We wanted to make our own play list with all the songs that meant something to both of us growing up. We had all our friends around to our house over the months leading up to the wedding and over copious glasses of wine, terrible karaoke and a couple of 80s cheese-fests, we got their input and made a killer playlist that had everyone on the dance floor until the wee hours. Our first dance was "One Day Like This" by Elbow (that was Tim's victory, mine was getting him to agree to "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce for our walking-in song!)

We had an amazing, unforgettable day, and it was all the more enjoyable because we had done it all ourselves, on a very strict budget. It just goes to show that with a little creativity, attention to detail and support from family and friends, you don't have to break the bank or turn into Bridezilla to get The Big Day of your Dreams!

DRESS MANUEL MOTA FOR PRONOVIAS
BRIDESMAIDS COAST, LONDON
GROOM M&S
PHOTOGRAPHER JOHN ARMSTRONG (WWW.JAP.CO.ZA)
FOOD SUE TAYLOR
HAIR & MAKE-UP SCULPTURES AND COMPLEXIONS, EAST LONDON
MUSIC MAX MUSIC
FURNITURE AND CATERING EQUIPMENT BORDER HIRE